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These are all true things that have happened to me, because pregnancy brain, or baby brain, makes you unreliable and forgetful.
I recently read that sleep deprivation is one of the primary causes of pregnancy brain. And yeah, I believe that. Because it’s simply im-POSsible to think a single rational thought when you’re awakened every hour all night for several months in a row.
Being a mother is the best thing in the world. It is. But I’m insanely tired. My brain is fried. And I say and do some completely crazy things because my sleep-deprived brain is currently amused by this.
These are some of the stupid things I did when I had my first baby. And if you’re not sure pregnancy brain is real, let this be the proof you need:
1. You forget where you are
When I’m at the supermarket with Theo and can’t remember what we were going after or how we got there.
2. You call people the wrong name. Including yourself.
At the pharmacy, I claimed my name was Naaja. But it’s not my name. It’s my sister-in-law’s.
3. You start rocking the baby…
Only to realise, the baby is fast asleep in the pram.
4. You head out in your pyjamas
When we’re heading out and I’m so busy changing Theo’s diapers, getting him dressed, in his outerwear, his hat and pacifier that I forget myself. I got halfway to the bus stop before I discovered I was still in my pyjamas. Nice, Miriam.
5. You can’t remember basic words… like your hand
At one point, I couldn’t remember the word ‘hand.’ Called it an ‘arm foot’ for hours.
6. Your dinner takes ages to cook (because you forgot to put the oven on)
You wait ages and ages wondering why your food isn’t cooking and only after 45 minutes realise you’ve not switched the oven on.
7. You forget passwords and numbers
The other day I shopped for DKK 76.50 at the store, and when I entered the pin code, I entered 7650 (which is not my pin code at all).
8. You use your deodorant as hair spray
You reach out for some hair spray or dry shampoo and only after spritzing it liberally you realise you used your deodorant instead. Dooh!
9. You forget words mid-sentence
You literally forget what you’re about to say mid sentence. You forget even common words and end up in an embarrassing pause, making no sense whatsoever.
10. You pour yoghurt in your morning tea. And consider drinking it
When I accidentally poured yogurt in the tea, and in my sleep-deprived state considered drinking it because I was too tired to boil another cup. Is it really that gross? (Yes! It is!)
11. You forget your husband’s name
My husband misplaced his phone and asked me to call it with mine. I stared at my contacts realizing I had completely forgotten his name. After about 1 minute he asked from the other room “is it ringing?” And I broke down crying because I couldn’t remember…
10. You embarrass yourself
And then the worst pregnancy brain fog: When I was at the men’s shop, and two young sales guys were checking me out. I strutted out of there confident, thinking, “YES, I’ve still got it!”.
Only, when I got out on the street and happened to see my mirror image in a shop window, I discovered the flood of vomit that Theo had left on my jacket. ALL the way down my back and even in my hair.
I was mortified.
So, am I the only one who’s a complete disaster, or do you also have a funny pregnancy brain story?